Why are we doing this?
Let’s go back to March of 2007, nine fucking years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long. A lot has happened between now and then. I graduated from Mizzou. I spent a year on Federal probation. I graduated from law school. I got my MBA. I passed the bar. All throughout, I worked as a fishing guide in Swan Valley, Idaho. After that, I spent a year in public accounting. From there I spent two years in high-end tax consulting. I learned a helluva lot along the way and I met even more amazing people.
But you know what, I’d trade it all to get to relive one week with my two best friends. I bet you have a similar story, and we want to hear it.
But here is mine. We were three guys, leaving Columbia, Missouri for Panama City, by way of Bristol, Tennessee. We had my ’93 Ford Explorer Sport packed to the brim with Busch Light and Winston Lights. We had our fishing gear and clothes stacked on top of my old Coleman Grill with a cooler full of hot dogs and burgers sharing the backseat. We set out for Bristol at 10 PM the Thursday before Spring Break actually started. Let’s be honest, who in the fuck goes to class the Friday before Spring Break?
We powered through from Columbia to Bristol over night, fueled with enough Adderol to climb Mount Everest. We made it to Bristol at 9 AM Friday morning and I dropped my buddies off to set up camp so I could go fish the South Holston. We spent the next three days drinking, smoking, and watching NASCAR. We kicked it with some dudes from the Canadian Mafia (seriously).
From there we drove through buttfuck Alabama to get to PCB. At one point, one of the guys had to relieve himself of the second kind. Little known fact, there aren’t that many great shitters in Northern Alabama, so we let him know that he’d have to make a shit sandwich in the woods. And so was born a new nickname.
Once we got to PCB, we spent the rest of the week drinking, fishing, and fucking. I can’t think of anything better than seeing the sun set over the ocean. Let me know if you can. At one point that week, we had a cooler full of beer, a hot grill and an ocean full of fish in front of us. We caught fish, fileted them, and threw them on the grill as fast as we could. As my friend Yogi down in Belize says, “That’s what the PEOPLE wants.”
And that’s what we want for you. More time spent like that. So come on in, the water is warm, the drinks are cold, and the climate suits your soul. Find your Spring Break today.
Chris Conant – Founder, Spring Break